• Pamela Maran

Becoming the ocean

It is said that before entering the sea a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled, from the peaks of the mountains, the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her, she sees an ocean so vast, that to enter there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way. The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back. To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk of entering the ocean because only then will fear disappear, because that’s where the river will know it’s not about disappearing into the ocean, but of becoming the ocean.

Kahlil Gibran


So is a person afraid to go beyond his fears, to disappear permanently.

I love, but ... but up to the point where I have to give up MY time, MY will, MY opinions. Because who would I be then? Nobody.

So I stand here, trembling before the ocean, resisting, not giving up ME and MINE.

Maybe it will take years, hundreds, thousands, thousands of lives and I'm still trembling before the ocean. It only seems like a short delay, but with this delay, I remain alone, noticing thousands of other tributaries hesitating on the side of the ocean.

But once a gentleness dawns inside me, where I don't fight anymore, I let myself be carried to the ocean.

And maybe then I realize that I didn't have my time, my desires, my opinions, I didn't have ME to the begin with.

And maybe then I will discover that when I became the ocean, I became something more than ME, which I have adhered to so far ...

Maybe ... maybe ...

But in the meantime, let me tremble ... alone.

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