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  • Pamela Maran

Do you eat shit or see it?

Updated: Jul 30

I received an interesting letter. "Are you still conducting a death meditation? My life needs a restart and this practice seems good for that."


I advised, as to many other, to read my writings from my blog. This itself, is already the first test to see what a person REALLY wants.


If they want to receive pity, get attention, experience something "cool", then the answer is, as in this case: "No, I'd prefer something "real"; something "to do"; something-something-something ELSE."


The fact is that most people are just looking for another emotion, and they believe that THEN they attain truth.


I watched a Tony Robbins documentary yesterday. I understand why people pay $ 5,000 for his training. The man is full of power, might, he tears the layers of participants in front of thousands of pairs of eyes, makes them cry from vulnerability and shieldlessness... this touches everyone who is present. Everyone experiences the enlightenment of instant liberation, joy, clarification of their goals, and long lost faith in themselves they finally find.


But they do not experience the truth, because truth lasts, emotions don't.


If they did experience truth, why would they come back to his training over and over again? Some have been hunting for these emotions for ten years. If a person finds complete liberation and clarity, why going back?

Because emotions cannot ever be fulfilled. You want more ... and more ...


Thus, tantric events are held over and over again from the excitement of overcoming the fear of caressing a stranger. People go to yoga because after that you feel "lightness", "brightness", "freedom from stress". We take breathing courses because after that you feel how "the mind is completely open" and "the body is like a cloud". They attend ayahuasca ceremonies, where they experience visions and "something amazing".

People have gone so far as to hunt for emotions that there are now practices such as genital gazing (tantra) and even eating their own shit ("because the body is sacred").


None of them experience the truth. "Positive", "fantastic", "extraordinary" feelings are experienced and that is what remains. In this way, one becomes dependent on the practice itself, but the truth is not reached.

The simple truth is that you eat your shit because someone sold it to you as spirituality, and you eat your shit because you don't see that simple truth.


If anyone else writes me that he will not read my texts because he has already read so many self-help textbooks, then I'm not the source. I am not the source of the "amazing" experience that offers this endless vicious circle where one emotion follows another.


Most people do not want to hear the truth. They want to come to a teacher who tells them what they want to hear and gives them a practice that "relieves stress", "creates outrageous sensations", "opens the heart chakra and makes the love flow," and so on. And the teacher wants money to survive. Why should he lead a person far from himself - to truth? The doctor needs sick people. The "spiritual teacher" needs a self-distant, emotion-hunting student.


If you come to me, I'll tell you you're stupid if you eat shit. If you want to eat shit, you get offended and walk away. And that's okay.


I have come to this truth where I no longer suffer for my straightforwardness and I no longer try to be the "teacher" who pleases everyone and who offers "beautiful" emotions. I used to take it personally when I told something too straightforward to the student. I felt guilty.

Now I know it is what it is.


And this is the truth that anyone can reach. EVERYTHING you are is NECESSARY. The truth is that you are not one character trait, just as I am not only a painful prick, but also a love in various forms. No one is completely good, not completely bad. You are both. You are all.


And all the trainings and practices that offer "stress relief", "complete balance" will sell you ignoring the truth.


Finally... you also have the opportunity to eat shit, be aware of it and do it with wholeness.... But it seems to me that life has more colors and eating mousse cake can be slightly better than eating shit.




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